Saturday, June 7, 2008

Angry - Who me?


"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret", says Ambrose Bierce
How i wish i could do that!

I had been a guy who seldom gets angry. But of late i get annoyed ever and anon. I hole up my emotions within me and don’t like to showcase it in public. I normally take a backseat when it comes to retaliating with words. So, it goes within me, within my heart, my mind all concealed up. But then too much stuffing gives me headache thinking about the incident.

I love to be alone when i am angry, so that i don’t speak with anyone and gradually get over it. Or i pray that i get angry during nights so that i can sleep over it. I said i hate to display emotions to the world but when it comes to my family i disembark my anger to them. And it’s just like i lost control of my tongue and am blabbering out absolute rubbish. The reason for not holding up my anger in front my parents (especially my mom) is maybe i think that they can understand me and my frustration. But then when I am alone and i think of it i feel like 'hell, what have i done? Why did i behave like that?' And then straightway go to my mom end up with lots of sorry and tears.

I know it’s not just me but everyone gets annoyed; turmoil of annoyance, sirocco of exasperation, whatever you call it, though most of us don’t admit it or display it. I know anger is a normal human emotion and to never feel annoyed is just like never be fully human. But i want to have more control over it. It should be like i must be governing anger and not the other way round. I don’t want to be a Mr. Hyde!

Quote
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” - Lord Buddha

19 comments:

Parth Barot said...

things seems right when you read them or when they happening to others. You think why the person is behaving like this? But when the same irritating things happens with you, you can't just control your self sometimes.

Thats what crappy happening with me since last 3 days and what i have done, you know it. Because i can't bear it if it's not my fault. The nasty person is harassing me since last week but i can't do in official way.

Better i should think of change something.

'Don't control your feelings, because it hurts yourself'

DeLi said...

to manage anger is very important. i am not proud of my capacity and outburst when i am nagry and i am working on it...but it must be let out and let go

Little Lamb said...

I try not to show my anger and would like to hold it in more and pray about it.

/t. said...

"if
the eye
of thine enemy
offends thee, then
pluck it out... then the other one... then piss into their skull... and then go home and love your family & friends"

- guy under a bridge

/t.

Sandy said...

@parth - chill out dude.

@deli - i agree with you.

@little lamb - me too pray that plz dont make me lose my head.

/t. - dont you think that would be rude mate.

the walking man said...

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” - Lord Buddha

This is true..'cept what if you take your anger and give it a resounding smack with you ball bat? It is a necessary thing to be burned with anger while you are young so the rage of the days to come will be more controllable.

Your parents will always accept your anger even if they do not understand it. That is the nature of love.

So what good does your anger accomplish Sandy? Passion and fire do temper the soul, get angry often enough and you will tire of it but hopefully not of the things which need changing, the situations which cause your anger.

Either change the situations or change yourself. One or the other will be necessary for comfortable peace.

atomicvelvetsigh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
atomicvelvetsigh said...

(ops tons of typo there.. sorry, i am typing with only my monitor as light)

aww be careful with that pent up anger, sandy! some people keep their emotions inside too long that they suddenly explode! or worse, implode!

take it from me.. i was once keeping everything inside until i imploded.. when all emotions just suddenly stopped. yes i was numb but that can be very bad..

good thing im better now in all sorts of ways..

Melissa said...

i can relate to what you've written here. like u, when im upset with things in my family i dont hold up my emotion with them. i just let it out, probably becoz i feel much closer to them. but with those who are unrelated to me, i tend to bottle up my anger which is really unhealthy i know, but i supposed i just totally hate it to have people see me breaking down.

just came across ur blog n i think i love reading ur posts. lil stories that average people like me can relate to everyday =)

Papillon said...

I find that one way to vent anger (and venting it is essential) is through physical exercise. By the time I've finished an hour-long workout, I almost always feel better.

Hope this helps.

/t. said...

sandy,

rude? which...
the eye gouging or skull pissing?

sorry... dark humour -- not all appreciate it

/t.

noisysmile said...

anger can be a super duper thing. It can give you the oomph to run faster or hit the ball harder (this can apply to any sport I suppose). It can also be a wonderful way to pull creativity out of hiding. I, however, am rarely in a position where I can express anger in a positive manner. I usually just try to find a quiet spot and sit it out. I hate taking it out on innocent people. that's the worst feeling ever! but with close friends and family there is always forgiveness and hugs and kisses to take the hurt away. And moms most always understand.

Sandy said...

@the walking man - "Either change the situations or change yourself. One or the other will be necessary for comfortable peace" Great advice sir.

@atomicvelvetsigh - Yes i totally agree with you imploding is worse than explode. it makes you feel restless.

@melissa - quite true. thats why i dont like to display my emotions amidst others. Btw thanks for dropping by. you r most welcome.

@papillon - i will have to try that.

@/t. - sir i was joking too. dont mind it.

@noisysmile - i completely agree with you.

whimsical brainpan said...

It sounds to me that your problem might be having too much control over your anger. If you don't show your emotions and hold them back then they tend to come spilling out at the wrong time in the wrong way. Anger can be constructive, find a way to use it (write it out you are a good writer).

Robin said...

We take our anger out on the people we love because we feel safe there. But you have to wonder how your anger affects those people. You may feel safe, but you may also be scaring them a great deal.

Someone I love, who had never really shown anger before, began to become 'almost' violent. Coming from a violent childhood, I wasn't going to go through it a second time.

I told him to take a walk. To my astonishment, he did. And he came back saying he felt sane again.

Expending energy, exerting yourself not only tires your body but gives you quiet times to think..... Sometimes, it will bring you peace.

Holding it in, is useless. The anger has to go somewhere and if it's in you, it turns against you. Run it off. Go somewhere private and scream it out. If you can't get a handle on it yourself, find someone who can help you.

Sandy, there is so much good about you....remember that.

boneman said...

actually, it goes bothe ways.
I sure understand the first quote because I'v ehad regrets many times for words of anger thrown way too fast.
Likewise, I let things eat me up inside for not reacting at all.

Steve says I should learn how to write a scathing, fire blasting letter....
and then not send it.
That sounds good.

Anonymous Boxer takes it out on a punching bag, also a great idea.
Classes on self defence will help you get out anger without actually hurting folks and it has the added advantage of getting you ready for situations that may need it.

Sandy said...

@whim - i cant do that. i dont wanna hurt anyone.

@robin - thats what i m afraid of. i think i m unknowingly hurting my parents.

@boneman - yeah anonymous boxer sounds a good idea.

Urban Animal said...

Hi Sandy, visiting from violetsky's blog.

I hear you about anger, I used to have a very short fuse and take it out on whomever/whatever was near. Eventually you learn to manage it, note I don't say control because the more you try to squash it (either by not reacting or else), the worse it becomes. I find anger to be a powerful tool to get stuff done. The trick is to manage it effectively. And also to chose my battles.

At my age, almost 50, I must say I slip less and less but there are times when it flies out of the window and I will create the much regretted speech :)

Great blog, I plan on visiting you again!

Sandy said...

@urban animal - thanks for visiting my blog. you r right when saying the more you try to control it the worse it becomes.